It's Friday, try not to hurt yourself...

It's actually really hard to drink with your left hand when you're
right handed.

I think I have stumbled onto perhaps, what could be considered to be the very, absolute, without a doubt worst first world problem: getting up to urinate 15 minutes before the alarm clock goes off. You don't get that wonderful moment, of shutting off the alarm, or hitting snooze and drifting back to sleep for a few minutes. You have to get out of bed, face the bracing cool dawn air, then stand on even colder bathroom tile in your bare feet, and if you're a guy, hope you're awake enough to aim properly. If you're not awake, you got a mess to clean up. Also, if you're like me, when you open that bedroom door, you're greeted by two hungry cats that won't let you pee without feeding them first. So by the time you get back into what should be a warm, comfy bed, you don't have the chance to drift off back to sleep. You're awake. Like I said, first world problem, but it makes me mad.



Well - what's new today? Not a whole lot - just that I've uploaded my newest Epic Trailer! Woot!

But before we get to that; I've created more "Hail Hydra!" memes! Yes, that's right folks, after a good night's rest - I found inspiration and it has also given me a chance to understand how demented I am. So enjoy and laugh if you get the joke. Or laugh anyway, even if it's out of pity. Pity laughter is better than no laughter at all. By the way, these should be the last ones - for now. No guarantees but my brain travels to weird places...

Alrighty - enough of that fun, onto the main event. Here it is; the latest Epic Trailer! Godzilla! Now, fair warning, this one isn't all that funny, it's more straight up cool and awesome. If I wanted it to be funny I'd have to watch that Broderick movie all over again, and... yeah, I just couldn't bring myself to do that. Enjoy!

That's it for this week. Be good out there, and if you hear of any good job openings in the Denver area - let me know lol!

It's Thursday!

Being unemployed offers up a lot of unique opportunities. Being creative. Writing my book. Editing new videos. Going to the coffee shop in the middle of the day and sitting in a big comfy chair... which happens to be situated in front of a gigantic window that is seemingly hotter than hell itself! Seriously, it may not look like it, but I'm sweating buckets here. I know moving is an option but I just got comfortable. So until I can't stand it any longer... here is where I stay! Pitted undershirt be damned!




Allrighty then - What's new? Well I caught Captain America: The Winter Solder yesterday afternoon. And what did I think? Friggen LOVED it. Seriously. 24 some hours later and I believe I can officially stamp it my favorite Marvel movie thus far. It took all the Captain America appearances that happened before and expanded them in a logical, smart direction that continues to build not only his character, but the ones around him. In her 4th appearance as Black Widow, Scarlett Johansson finally actually has something of a character to work with. Sure she got a moment or two in The Avengers - but really, not all that much. Here, it feels like they're actually building her towards her own movie - which would be awesome!

Next you have franchise newcomer Anthony Mackie as Falcon - who is also awesome in the role and makes for an empathetic character for Chris Evan's titular character to play off of. More than a simple stock character to round out the cast, he genuinely feels like he's being built into his own franchise as well - again I am all for.

As a whole this movie works because it's taken out of the comic book genre and dropped into 70's spy thrillers. It plays like a Bourne movie that doesn't take itself so damned serious. That isn't to say it's a joke a minute, but there are enough moments of levity to remind people that they're supposed to be having fun and enjoying themselves. The filmmakers even cribbed Paul Greengrass' patented "Confusovision" for the hand to hand fight sequences, only you wont need a stomach suppressant to watch this one. Directors Anthony and Joe Russo who were known for comedy TV shows like Community are in fine form here as action directors - and according to rumor have signed to direct the inevitable Captain America 3.

Robert Redford also lends a lot of weight to the movie. No, that's not a fat joke. The dude looks to be in great shape; and in true Redford form, is deft at playing someone that could be your best friend or worst enemy all at the same time. And then there's Sam Jackson as S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Fury - who is once again like in The Avengers is allowed to expand his character beyond being a random authority figure in a black trench coat. Backstory is an incredible asset to making a movie good - who knew?

Notice I'm being vague about the plot and the story? That's by design. I hate people that spoil movies and I especially hate it when I spoil a movie. This particular one, while not all together surprising, there are a lot of pieces to this puzzle and I don't want to ruin someone's good time by going too far into detail. I will say again, this is Marvel's best offering to date - easily a 5/5 in my book.

Now to 3D or not to 3D? Good question. Not to 3D. I saw it in 3D, the effect is nice, especially towards the end action sequences, but it's not necessary. This is one of those moments where while I love 3D to death, I wish Marvel was a bit more choosey about what movies get the 3D treatment and how they do it. Just once I'd love them to shoot the movie in 3D for a change. The conversion is practically flawless, but still, not needed to have a great time.

NOW - as a result of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the world is being given a new meme to enjoy - you've maybe seen it floating around? Someone seemingly whispering into someone's ear saying "Hail Hydra." Don't worry, this isn't really a spoiler - thankfully! But I have jumped in on the fun with my own offerings. So without further ado here are my Hail Hydra pics:

And with that, I will leave you for this great day. Before to come back tomorrow for my latest and perhaps most awesome Epic Trailer yet! Seriously - I'm pretty damn proud of it. See you then!

It's a Tuesday, My name's Hartman... I edit goofy videos; I don't carry a badge.

Incidentally - that's Dawn of the Dead on TV.

I got a haircut! Seriously - I was starting to look pretty Swayze, I had the full Road House look going and it wasn't pretty. Sure feathered hair was a sign of male virility and potency, but that was like the 80's. Mel Gibson, Swayze, all the best action guys of the generation had that look. Well, maybe not Schwarzenegger... or Stallone... or Bruce Willis, but that was because he was starting to go bald already. If Willis wasn't going bald, he would definitely sport the feathered mullet and rock it.




Yes I know it's been a while and things have been going on that have kept me from posting. Well, I have been looking for a new job, but that's not it. And it's not that I have been lazy exactly, I have, but it's because I was getting caught up on TV. By that I mean I've been obsessively watching this season of Hannibal! You want a great show to get sucked into that's filled with suspense and dread and is just all around good and creepy. I like that! It's fun! Also I'm impressed with the level of gore - it's not that gory really - but for broadcast TV they're getting away with a lot. If you haven't given it a shot yet, the first season is streaming on Amazon Prime. the first season is a bit "murder of the week," but the main story thread is great and this second season is just awesome. Try it, wont you?

Another thing that's kept me from posting until now is I've gone to the movies a few times. I know - that should have gotten me on here posting up a review, but in my defense I refer you back to the previous codicil about Hannibal. That show is that good! Each episode builds and builds, not just covering territory we've already seen, but going into places only alluded to in the books. But enough about Hannibal. I went and saw The Grand Budapest Hotel which was friggen fantastic! Seriously, I've seen that with my wife twice in the theaters now - it's that good. It's Wes Anderson at his most madcap zany fun. It feels like a warped Blake Edwards movie and everyone should go see it IN THE THEATER! Screw home video. This is a theater movie. It's an experience - so go experience it! 5/5

Next I got to see 300: Rise of an Empire. I'll be honest. I loved this movie... right up to the last 5 minutes. It was fun! The visuals were incredible, leaps and bounds above the previous movie. The action is incredible. The gore effects are actual effects, liquid blood splatters about the sets. There ARE sets! And the 3D is incredible! Seriously one of the best live action movies to showcase how great and fun 3D can be... and then the last 5 minutes kicks in. Truly up to that point the movie is awesome, sure it's dumb, but it's a fun dumb. Then that last little bit kicks in, and for me, as a story teller, completely ruined it. I hate giving spoilers, but I will say I am not against narration, so long as there's a point, it can serve the story. It can provide character depth. However, that all depends on what character is telling the story - and the reveal of who is telling the story, was just stupid. Particularly because the narration drops out at a very logical midway point, and it fits, it's fine, but then that character's voice picks up in the last 5 minutes to talk about stuff that is happening IN REAL TIME! They're no longer telling a story! They're narrating what they're doing! That's like me talking about going to the bathroom while I'm going to the bathroom! So because of that last 5 minutes, this movie goes from being a 4/5 fun romp that I would happily buy on 3D Blu-ray, to an irritating, anger, rage inducing 1/5 for the laziest story telling possible that I will most likely never see ever again.

What else have I been doing? Well it just so happens I have FINALLY created my latest Epic Trailer! That's right ladies and gents - sit bat, relax, and enjoy my version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

That's it for now - gotta get to work on the next trailer! Be good and see you soon!