Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Superman's Underpants


While I know there is a lot of controversy about how the new Superman isn't wearing underpants on the outside of his tights. I feel there is a rational explanation for this. Some people think that the outside underpants work to highlight Superman's penile promenance. This could be true, Ol' Blue Boy does like to show off his superbatch in tight spandex. Maybe he's lucky that way, or maybe he's insecure about himself in spite of his numerous superpowers and feels the need to keep himself on "display" as it were. Some people think that the underpants serve as some sort of armor to help protect his troops that are waiting to deploy into action. This could be, but then again, he is virtually invincible so any kind of stray bullet or errant shot to the genitals would have little to no effect on his personal DNA distribution unit. I myself have a different theory that bares some weight I believe. Now did you ever think that the reason why Superman wears his underwear on the outside is because they're not underpants at all, they're in fact adult diapers? Part of the reason he's always compelled to travel faster than the speed of sound could be to find a private restroom that could handle his super-sized deposits. Since Superman is a hero of action and is always fighting danger, it could be that when terror strikes his intestines, he might not have a chance to break free and therefor needs that little extra ounce of security. So this new Superman featured in The Man of Steel may just be the first Superman to come along that doesn't have an incontinence or uncontrollable diarrhea problem! I know this is a controversial issue so I welcome all supportive and dissenting feedback.
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